What If? The Breakdown
by lovelybella
Summary: Bella is your normal average human being, except she's in love with a vampire. Exactly how much can she take of Edward’s stubborness? How quickly can she get fed up, and demand to be changed? Who will win the fight, and who will receive the consequneces?
1. Tired of It

What If? A Collection of REALLY Short Stories: Breakdown

Summery: Bella is your normal average human being, in love with a vampire. Exactly how much can she take of Edward's stubborness? How quickly can she get fed up, and _demand_ to be changed? Who will win the fight, and who will receive the consequneces?

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Her name is Bella. She is a human. His is Edward. He is a vampire. Their love survived many struggles and problems, but will one fight ruin everything? This is after New Moon, and Edward hasn't proposed like he did in New Moon…

* * *

Edward and I were sitting in his room, on the black couch of his, alone, talking.

"Edward, can we talk?" I asked, looking up at him. He was sitting on the couch, while I laid, my head in his lap.

Edward threw me a skeptical look, and asked. "Do you want me to leave? Do you want to break up?" Edward asked.

I knew my mouth flew open to say no, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was laughfter.

"Hahaha!" I laughed, somehow falling off the couch. "Ouch. Do you seriously believe that _I_ should break up with you? Come on, you know I love you too much for that, Edward." I said, getting up and sitting on his lap.

"So, what then?" Edward asked. I thoguht for a moment, wondering how to start. I haven't both up this conversation since… god knows when. The last time could have been when Jacob sent me his last letter. When I was _suppose _to go see him, talk things out. But of course, that was a week or two ago, maybe more, and I have been a good girl by not bringing up the subject sicne then.

"Edward you love me right?" I asked.

Edward rasied his eyebrows at me. "Yes, wait, where is this going?" He asked, giving me a skeptical look.

I gave him a look as if asking to answer the question. He complied.

"Of course Bella. Honey, I'll always love you." He said, kissing my head. "You must know that." He said.

I turned to look at him. "I do know that. And I love you too, so why won't you ch-" But I never got to finish my sentence, because Edward started.

"No." He said firmly.

I turned around in his lap to look at him. "But you don't even know what I'm going to say!" I excalimed.

"No. I know exactly what you want to ask me, and I can't do it Bella." Edward said, closing his eyes, resting his head on the couch.

"You can't do it, or you don't want to?!" I yelled, getting off his lap, and standing in front of him.

"I can't and I won't!" He exclaimed, getting up and walking to the other side of the room.

"Why not!?" I asked, turning around to talk to his back.

"Because I don't want to damn you! I don't want to take away your soul, your friends, your family!" He yelled, turning around.

"Oh! Cut the bullshit Edward! What are you saying?! That you have no life, no soul, family, and friends!" He remained silent, so I continued.

"I feel sorry for you! Truly, how could you love me if you have no soul!? How could you live everyday, with this family behind you, helping you, guiding you!?! You have everything you want, and need! But when I grow up and die due to some god forsaken reason, you'll be dead again! Is that what you want?! To live alone after 80 something years!?" I yelled back, strongly fighting off the tears.

"I can't damn you Bella. I just can't!" Edward said.

"You're not damning me, Edward! If you were, then I wouldn't be asking for this! It's three days compared to an eternity. Eternity! Do you understand what that means?! Do you not love me enough to spend forever with me?!" I yelled, now very close to him. I noticed his charcol eyes, but even _that_ didn't stop me.

"I do love you Bella. More than you'd ever know! And that's why I can't change you! I can't see you in all that pain! It's too dangerous!" He said, facing the wall again, his hands resting on it, trying not to make a dent.

"Edward!" I yelled at him.

"No." He replied firmly. I tried again.

"Edward, please!" I yelled, almost on my knees begging him.

"NO! Bella, enough! I won't and can't change you!" Edward yelled, completely outrage. Well, I started this fight and I'm not going to lose it.

"Fine, then if that's what you want! I'll die insetad! The Volutri will find me! They take me, and change me, and make me feed off innocent blood, and then you'll never see me again! Is that what you want!?" I yelled, my voice in hysterics.

"They won't find you, I promise. I'll keep you safe." Edward said, his voice low and whispered.

"Safe?! You'll keep me safe?! You don't know the meaning of the word safe! You don't want me to be changed, to be with you forever, right? That's the only reason. I'm just a void in your life, someone to pass the time away." I knew it was killing him but it was true.

"NO!" Edward yelled, the loudest I've heard yet, and threw something by my side only to crash into the wall behind me. I froze, and from the corner of my eyes, saw that he took something glass and threw it. My first guess was a lamp, maybe a CD…

"Do you want to be like this? Something dangerous itself? Something that everyone fears, everyone keeps their distance from? Something that has to feed n blood, something like this?" He said, and punch the nearest wall, leaving a good fist sized dent in it. Esme was going to have a fit with that.

But dueto my persistant stubborness, I had to contiue. "You don't care about me. You don't even truly love me." I said, my tears betraying me and escaping my eyes.

Within a millasecond, he was in front of me, his hands gripping my face a bit tightly, but not tight enough to inflict pain. "Don't say that! Don't you dare! How could you doubt my love for you?! How could you, for a split _second_ believe that I don't care about you, that I don't love you!?! Bella, I do love you! With all my dead heart! Please understand!" He begged, his hands letting go of my face, and dropping down to his sides.

I rested my hand on his cheek, and turned his head from me. "I want this. I want this so much, more than anything in the whole world. Please, understand. I don't want to live a normal human life, and grow old or have kids, hell being 18 forever is great, old enough to drive and hopefully to get into clubs or whatever teenage vampires do on their spare time. The point is, if I had the world waiting for me, in my hands, I'd throw it all away just to be with you. Wouldn't you?" I asked.

"I would. I'd give you the world if I could, but please, don't ask me to do this. I'm not strong enough, I could hurt you Bella. If I mess up, one second, is all it takes, and I could easily hurt you. I don't want that, Isabella, please…" Edward said, his hands on mine, holding them between us. He looked away, and yet again I had to force him to look at me.

"You know, I never thought you, _you of all people_, weren't strong enough. If you love me like you say you do, you'd throw everything aside to be with me, even if it meant my life! You're giving me more than I can ask for! I don't care about anything else! Truly I don't! I just want to be with you! Is that too much to ask?!" I yelled at him, forcing him to turn around, and holding his face in between my hands. Tears stained my cheeks, and fell onto my hands.

"Bella…" Edward said, sighing and looking away once again. He thought way too much….

"Edward look at me." I waited. He did. "You are the most strongest one I know. You love me too much to hurt me, I know you. As for those three days of excruicating pain, well, I've hurt myself enough in the past, to be able to handle this. I would go those hell just to be with you." I said, planting a soft kiss on his lips, and pulling away.

"You'd be in hell if I changed you." Edward said. I threw my hands in the air.

"You've got to be kidding me! Are you serious! Did you not hear everything I just said!? Wherever you are, as long as I'm with you, its complete heaven." I said in a total whisper, but I knew Edward could hear me.

"I can't." Edward said. "I'm sorry, I just can't. I can't be the one responsible for taking away your life! I cant live knowing I put you through that pain, knowing you'll never see your family again! Think about Charlie, Renee and Phil! Won't you miss them?! Never beign able to see them again?!" Edward asked, his somewhat topaz/black eyes looking down on me.

"I will miss them at some points. But knowing I have you will be such a better award!" I said, holding his shoulders in my hands.

"I'm sorry Bella. I really am." Edward said. I nodded my head, tears still streaming down my face, and walked to the door.

"You know, they say, you don't know what you have, untill you lose it. You lost it Edward. You lost me." I said, and walked out of the door, and into the hallway, where I saw _every single Cullen_ _standing there._ The tears now blasted down my cheeks, and I ran. I ran with all my might, as if I never ran before. I ran past the most caring people in the world, out the enterance, into the slick rain and into my truck. Rosalie had tampered with my truck, making it go really fast now, possibly going at 100, maybe 120. I backed out of the driveway and zoomed down the street, pushing at 90, never going this fast before.

I knew not to drive this fast, especially in this weather, but I didn't listen. I just drove, pushing the truck faster than I ever have before.

I hit the highway, not knowing, nor caring where I was going. The tears blurred my vision, making it hard to see. And then I heard it. A truck's horn blaring. And it was seconds. The light blinded me, making me swere quickly to the right, while I saw my life playing before my eyes.

Renee and Phil, holding me a baby, Renee leaving with me, starting a new life in Florida, movign to Forks, meeting Edward, James, Victoria who was still out there somewhere, Laurent, Jacob, the pack, Edward leaving me, me in depression, Italy, Aro, the Volutri, the meeting, and the fight. I hadn't even said goodbye to edward. Not even an "I'm sorry", or "I love you". My last words to him were, "You lost me." And now, I think he really did…

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NOT THE END! It's just the first chapter! Hang in there! REVIEW!!!!

-lovelybella


	2. Crash

A/N: Okay so I haven't published in a week or so. Please forgive me. I hope everyone read the little horrible note I posted. I'm sorry. I'm typing off my uncle's computer, and my hands are much better now. Why do weird things happen to me? I'm sorry once again.

On with the story!

* * *

_I hit the highway, not knowing, nor caring where I was going. The tears blurred my vision, making it hard to see. And then I heard it. __A truck's horn blaring.__ And it was seconds. The light blinded me, making me swerve quickly to the right, while I saw my life playing before my eyes._

_Renee and Phil, holding me a baby, Renee leaving with me, starting a new life in Florida, moving to Forks, meeting Edward, James, Victoria who was still out there somewhere, Laurent, Jacob, the pack, Edward leaving me, me in depression, Italy, Aro, the Volutri, the meeting, and the fight.__ I hadn't even said goodbye to E__dward. Not even an "I'm __sorry",__ or "I love you". My last words to him were, "You lost me." And now, I think he really did…_

It all happened so fast.

I realized that once I swerved right so that I _didn't_ hit the truck, (i wasdrivign on the wrong side of the road, the left side...) I swerved into the metal railing, the left side of the front of the truck hitting against it. (Take the time to picture it... She's driving down the road, and a truck is coming. She's on the left lane and the trucks in front of her. She moves right, but becuase she breaks at the same time, she makes a U-turn and ends up the same direction the truck was going, how the truck was coming. So since she breaks, her front wheels stop and her back wheels keep going both at the same time, making a U-turn, and she ends up backwards, smashed-the drivers side- into the railing...)

Seeing as I was _not_ wearing my seat belt, in haste to get away from the home I wished I never left, I flew out of my seat and into the windshield. The glass shattered at the sudden impact and pierced into my skin. Some pieces bigger than others, and making scars that would have needed surgery, if I were to live through this.

At the moment, I could think of nothing except for Edward, and how I never had a chance to say goodbye. I blew my last chance with my one and only true love.

I suck right now. I should just die. Most likely, that will happen.

After hitting the windshield, I ended up back in my seat, and the car flipped over a couple of times, doing 360 flips, most likely going down a hill of some sort. My head hit the top of the car, then I fell back into my seat, (going down the hill) making me hit every cell in my body against the roof of the car. My head was pretty banged up from flying into the windshield, and even more so when the car flipped and I hit the ceiling every time. The car abruptly stopped flipping, and I realized that it was because it had slammed into a tree, and due to the abrupt impact, I was sent flying out of the now-glassless windshield.

As I laid there in the glass, not being able to move anythign part of my shattered and torn body, I wondered. I wondered how a perfectly serene and beautiful moment, became so wrong? One minute I'm snuggling up to him, the next I'm dying. I should have just never said a word. Never opened my big mouth. This would never have happened, and I wouldn't be dying right now.

Why'd life have to be so cruel?!

I knew there was a lot of blood. More than most accidents. It's as if I was forcefully being pushed off the highway and down the hill and into the tree.

The skin pierced my skin, my body, as if someone was intentionally plunging sharp blades into me. It hurt even to breath. My legs were both broken most likely. My right arm too. My left wrist was sticking out in a weird pose that I mentally and physically gagged at seeing. My ribs were broken, God knows how many.

The scent of the blood reached its destination, my nose, and I felt myself drift into unconsciousness.

I felt as if finally I was going to have some peace in life. I began to feel lifeless, as if I weighed nothing. I could feel nothing. Not the ground underneath me, nor the cool breeze licking at my blood.

I knew that moment, that I, _Isabella Swan_, was going to die, and never see Edward again.


	3. AA! Please read! Important! Not a chap!

Hi All! I know, I know! The last time I wrote was, god knows when?!

IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO (TIMES A BILLION MORE!) SORRY!!!!!!!

Once my hand healed, I had to make up all my school work and all. I had written The Decision, (about half way) when I got into an accident.

I broke my arm. My right arm to be exact. Its been about 3, close to 4 months when I wrote you about my burned hand. My full cast (the thick one) has been taken off, and they gave me a more lighter, relaxed, NOT ITCHY, cast. The thing is my fingers cant move, since it was my wrist that I broke. (In four places… It didn't hurt though.)

It's a long story, but soccer with my cousins, and my team who was winning, and my showing off. Not a good combo.

See, it was 19-18. And first up to 20 wins. The team is slave for the other for a week. So I didn't want to lose. And I don't like to lose. 10 seconds till the game finished and I had the ball. I passed, and it was high kicked back, so I could get passed someone, and I flipped to kick the ball in the net. It went in, and instead of landing on my feet, I landed on my arm, incorrectly.

And I heard _snap,_** twice**, and felt the pain. My friends were to busy cheering the victory to notice me in pain. My oldest cousins realized that I wasn't moving and cheering with my team, and ran over to me. When I told them that my arm was broken, (I love science, and major in it. No I'm not in college though… Ha, think you got me?) and it was, it was really crooked in one place and opposite crooked in the other, like a zig zag line, they called up an ambulance, and we went to the hospital.

But because we were so close to the hospital, they drove, like a maniac to the hospital, breaking the speed limit and all. I got a cast, and from then on, was an invalid. So, that's my clumsy story. We won, so I got them to be my slaves for a week. But that didn't matter, since they did everything for me anyways.

(My sister is writing this. HI! This is her sister. She says to put this in first person POV. So that's why it says "I" "My" and all. Its not me that's talking, its her. Don't ask me why it had to be in first POV. Her choice… She's weird. And she let me write this even though she's mad that she can't do anything about it, because she's in the hospital for a check up, strapped down to the bed. Hahaha. Okay sorry, back to the sob story!)

I should be able to feel my fingers soon, so as soon as possible, I will update. I have chapter 2 for decisions and chapter 3 for "The Returning" and "The Breakdown". Please, don't give up on me. I'm so sorry. Hopefully I won't get hurt anymore. My parents are already disappointed in me. And I'm grounded. Except for school! But I cant write anything. Except with my left hand. Which looks like crap. (The writing, that is.) Ciao for now, she wants to sleep! (Sister, name: Meya)

Ciao for now!

Thanks for all those who did not give up on me. You mean a lot! I give virtual one hand hugs to you all!


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